Only in my Dreams
by DemisBitch18
Summary: I'm 18 months clean, a few days out from my 21st birthday in an American Paradise. Suddenly my life is turned upside down by a chance meeting with my idol and reason for staying strong Demi Lovato! Starting off as T but may progress to M
1. Chapter 1

Only in my Dreams - Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi guys this is my first ever story, so please no hate. It started off as a dream that I couldn't get out of my head. Hope you guys enjoy. I'll try to update regulalrly**

I'd been in America for 2 weeks now. Doing just the touristy things like seeing Santa Monica Pier, Hollywood walk of fame, Walmart! So I thought it was time I went to an American Starbucks. So here I was, sitting at a table sipping my chai latte, thinking about my past and how far I've come. I didn't think I would live to see the day I turned 21. So this trip was sort of a party/gift for me from my parents. Brining in my 21st birthday and 18 months clean in an American summer paradise. Looking around me, the shop was pretty full. Nearly every table was occupied. My eyes make their way to the door only to see none other than Demi Lovatics walk in! She looks absolutely stunning as usual. Her eyes scan the shop and come to rest on mine. My mouth was hung open and my eyes were wide with excitement. Something she acknowledged with a trademark dazzling smile of hers. The internal debate began in my head as to whether or not I should approach her. Eventually I plucked up the courage to go up and thank her. As I was about to stand, she was mobbed by a bunch of teenage girls asking for pictures and autographs. I slumped back into my seat in dismay. My hands occupied with playing with the lid of my latter with which I was now having a starring contest with.

Demi Pov

"Finally a day off" I think to myself as I park my car across from my favourite Starbucks. This has been a pretty hectic year what with the new album, X factor and touring new countries. It's nice to finally get some time to myself. As I walk through the front door, I notice the shop is rather busy. I scan the room, my eyes stopping once they meet those of a stunning young girl sitting by herself. She obviously recognises me as her eyes are nearly bursting out of her skull. I smile to acknowledge her when suddenly I am surrounded by some younger girls wanting pictures. I happily oblige as I love my Lovatics so much and without them I might now be here today, two months away from my 21st birthday. Once the girls dispersed I notice the beautiful girl looking sadly down at her cup. Maybe she wanted to approach me but got scared off by the others? I order my usual and rather than heading straight back out to my car; I decide on another course of action.


	2. Chapter 2

Only in my Dreams

Chapter 2

Steph Pov

"She's obviously got a day off, otherwise someone else would have got it for her or Max would be with her" I thought to myself. She doesn't want to be disturbed especially now she has already been spotted by other Lovatics. Yes I am a Lovatic. Have been for a while now. If it wasn't for Demi and her strength, I would never have had the guts to ask for her, nor the ability to recover without her music. My thoughts were quickly interrupted when a figured stood in front of me and cleared their throat.

"Excuse me, umm is this seat taken?"

My head shot straight up at the recognition of that voice. My eyes meeting with a deep brown pair. My body froze. "Open your mouth Stephanie" I silently scold myself.

"Uhh…Yes.. I mean, no its not. I mean you can sit there if you want" I quickly blurt out. A look of amusement appears on her face followed by a small nod as she pulls out the chair opposite me.

"Thankyou very much. I'm Demi by the way"

Well duh, of course she's Demi. I look around and notice there are still a few empty tables. Why is she sitting here?

"I can move if you want so you can have to table to yourself?" I asked her. Still unable to hold eye contact for more than a second at a time.

"Why would I want you to move? I sat here because I wanted to sit with you"

I stare at her blankly while fangirling in my head. Hoping this isn't a dream.

"Really? Why would you want to sit with me? And I know who you are by the way"

"I know you know me. I saw the look on your face when you saw me walk in"

Crap. She noticed. She must think Im some crazy stalker chick. She continued talking.

"You looked a little down before. Something on your mind?" She asked me whilst taking a sip of her drink.

"Uh, yeah everything is fine" Do I tell her what I wanted to say before? No that's too much. I don't want to blab my sob story. "I wanted to come say hi, but those other girls beat me to it and I didn't want to disturb your day off". I look shyly down at my drink before deciding to bring it up to my lips, giving myself something to concentrate on while waiting for a response from Demi.

"Oh, well you should have come over anyway. But like I said hi I'm Demi" She extended her right arm across the table waiting for me to extend my own. Hesitantly my arm reaches across and my hand fits perfectly in hers; sparks shoot through my body at the contact.

"Hi, I'm Stephanie"


	3. Chapter 3

Only in my Dreams

Chapter 3

Demi Pov

The girl cautiously extends her right hand across the table. Suddenly I'm met with an amazing feeling shooting through my body. I look down to find her hand sitting perfectly in my own. My eyes automatically shift to her wrist; something I have done ever since I starting cutting my own. I notice some very feint scarring along the centre of it. My face falls. I look up at the girl who has gone as white as a ghost. She noticed my glance. She quickly removes her hand and the amazing feeling is suddenly gone. She places her hand in her lap, hidden away from my sight.

"Oh..D...dont worry about that. I have surgery a few years ago: she quickly spat out. She was clearly ashamed of those scars, and knowing better than to believe her excuse I knew the real reason behind them, but decided not to push the subject. She would tell me if she wanted to. I decided to change the subject.

"I love you accent. You're from Australia right?" I ask hopefully lightening the mood.

"Yeah, I'm here on holidays for my 21st birthday" she says cheering up at the change of topic.

"That's so cool! I've always wanted to go there. I can't wait till I finally get the chance. Are you a real Aussie that eats vegemite?"

"Oh my God yes!" she replies enthusiastically. "I usually have it every day. But I haven't had any since I've been here cause I didn't know if I was could bring it or not!"

"Awe, that sucks. I've tried it before. It's amazing, I love it. You know, I still have some at home if you want to come over and have some you're more than welcome!" I don't know where that came from. I don't even know this girl and I'm inviting her to my house! There is just something about her though that makes me feel drawn to her. Maybe if I get to know her a bit better. She might open up about those scars on her wrist. I look up at the girl to find a dumbstruck look on her face. It quickly changes to excitement when she realises the offer was serious.

"Yes! Are you sure though? I mean you don't even know me"

"Absolutely. There's just something about you that makes me trust you"

Steph Pov

I can't believe what is happening. This is the best day of my life. Demi extends her hand for me to grab; which I do without hesitation. Our coffees left sitting barely touched on the table slowly fading away as we walk out of the shop and into the beautiful day outside. Demi leads me across the road towards a flashy looking Mercedes. She lets go of my hand extinguishing the flame that had been burning throughout my body. I walk around to the passenger's side whilst waiting for her to unlock the door. Once inside I was overwhelmed with the reality that I was sitting in Demi Lovato's car with Demi Lovato! Only the way to her house I accidentally let out a squeak of excitement only to be met with the most cute, heart stopping, amazing giggle of Demi's. I look over to her as she concentrates on the road. Without even looking at me she reaches her spare hand over and places it on mine while drawing small circles on the top of it. A tingling feeling once again shoots through my body, this time through, I can feel it reach a part of my body it didn't last time. My centre. I've always admired Demi's beauty and sex appeal and said I was "lesbian for Demi" but no Lovatic ever believes that would happen. 1 because Demi is straight. 2 because they never get an opportunity to have a friendship let alone a relationship with her. I've never experienced sexual attraction to a woman before. Apparently there is a first for everything.

We were driving through L.A. for about 10 minutes until we started driving past some of the largest and most beautiful houses I had ever seen. Despite the amazing view outside the window, I was still ever aware of Demi's hand enclosed in mine that was resting on my thigh. I had become accustomed to the tingling sensation in my body, only to be shocked every so often by Demi drawing a new pattern or running her fingers along the underside of my wrist over my scars. I'm pretty sure she didn't believe my story but thankfully she didn't push the matter. It's a good thing she hadn't seen the other wrist. My right wrist was only scarred with the cuts of a scared teenage. My left wrist and both legs are scarred with the deep, unrelenting, punishing cuts of a severely depressed you adult. I can't bring myself to dump all of that onto her when my problems don't even compare to the ones she's experienced.


	4. Chapter 4

Only in my Dreams

Chapter 4

Steph Pov cont.

Finally we pull up at the most stunning modern home I'd ever seen. My jaw dropped as I stepped out of the car and onto the driveway of the mansion.

"Welcome to my home" Demi said with a smile while taking my hand once again. I could only manage a small nod as a response to her statement. Demi opened the door to the house and I was met with the sight of some people sitting on a couch watching I presumed was the ID channel. One of them turned around to see who entered the house. I nearly wet myself when I recognised them. It was Chelle.

"Hey Demi, who's your friend?" Chelle said.

"Oh this is Stephanie. I met her at Starbucks today. She's from Australia and she's missing vegemite so I said she could come over for some of ours. Steph this is Chelle, Chelle this is Steph. Oh and that's Matthew next to her" Demi said cheerfully.

"I know who they are" I said with a smile. " I follow them both on twitter. You guys are hilarious and oh my God Chelle your selfies are so hot I love you!" This made them both smile.

"Oh, you love her and not me!?" Demi said with a small pout.

"Of course she loves me. I'm amazing" Chelle said. I giggled and was led by demi into the kitchen.

Demi Pov

Stephanies reaction to the house was so cute. I must admit this house is pretty amazing. Its so awesome that she knows and likes my friends. That will make things easier in the future. Whoa. In the future. Where are you going with this Demi? I grab her hand and lead her to the kitchen, shaking away the thoughts that had just appeared in my head.

"Now how would you like your vegemite? On toast?" I ask Steph while walking to the pantry to retrieve the jar.

"Yeah toast is fine. Will you be having some with me? She asks questioningly.

"Why not. I haven't had any in a while" I grab the loaf of bread and place 4 slices into the toaster. Once the toast was ready Steph took the vegemite and a knife from the draw.

"Now if you're gonna eat vegemite with an Aussie, you need to put the right amount on the toast" she said with an evil grin.

"Oh dear Lord what have I gotten myself into" I laugh. I gasp loudly as I watch Steph place a large amount of vegemite on the bread. She just chuckled quietly.

We sat down at the dining table with Steph to my left. She immediately shoved the toast into her mouth and moan in pleasure. God it sounded sexy. Sexy? What has gotten into you Demi? You're straight. Why are you having those thoughts? I took a bite of my toast as Steph moaned again. I felt my centre get warm. The shock caused me to choke on my food. Steph placed her hand on my back patting it firmly to help me recover from my coughing fit. With her free left hand she passed me the glass of water I prepared. Then I saw them. The deep, red angry scars that covered half her forearm. I immediately burst into tears.

Steph Pov

Oh my God this toast was amazing! I may have overdone it a bit with the vegemite on Demi's toast but oh well. That's what you get when you eat vegemite with an Aussie.

I moaned with pleasure as I took my first bite. I honestly don't understand how people don't like it. It's amazeballs. I moaned again with my second bite when suddenly Demi started to choke. I quickly dropped my toast and gently patted her back, handing her a glass of water in the process. Suddenly she burst into tears. I looked into her eyes, her gaze resting on my arm. I quickly pulled my jumper sleeve down. Yes I know its summer but the stigma attached to cutting gets too much for me sometimes and I've become accustomed to wearing sleeves to prevent people from staring. I quickly return my hands to my toast. My eyes following suit. I sat there for I don't know how long until Demi spoke.

"Why?" she asked, her voice cracking with pain.

"Don't worry about it, its fine" I say trying to give her my most believable smile. Even though im a year clean, its still a daily battle not to relapse and the issues that caused me to cut still cause me some pain.

"No. I know that smile. You cant hide it from me." Tears still silently running down her face.

"I just had a lot of issues in the past. Those are just scars though. They are over a year old and they aren't that bad anyway." I said the last part quietly. Truth was, not many people had seen the worst scars I had. Once people noticed my wrist I would cut where they couldn't see.

"What do you mean they're not that bad. They're worse than mine! Show me the others!" There was a look of determination in her eyes telling me I was going to have to show her eventually.

"Ok. But can we go somewhere private?" she nodded and grabbed my hand, leading me to what I imagine was her bedroom. She sat on her bed looking at me expectantly. I sighed closing the door behind me and walking over to her. I started undoing the button on my jeans. She looked at me with an eyebrow raised. I blushed furiously.

"Don't look at me like that, they're on my legs" She giggled. "Please don't stare at my fat legs either, I'm ashamed of them" I said with pleading eyes.

She was about to say something but I interrupted her by pulling my jeans down enough for her to see the scars. Some were white, some still red, some small, some very large, some just lines, some words. Her silent tears started again as she reached out a hand to touch them. She lightly traced over one that was 6cm long and 1cm thick, located right near my bikini line. I shuddered at her touch.

"Did I hurt you?" Demi said quietly.

"No, it just tickled" Technically I wasn't lying, it did tickle, just not my leg if you catch my drift. Then her attention came to the words. FAT, UGLY, STUPID.

"You're beautiful. Why would you carve these words into your skin?"

"Because everyone kept telling me I was those things. After a while you start believing it and then I started telling myself I was." She grabbed my hands in her own, her eyes piercing into mine.

"Please, please don't ever think those things about yourself again" she begged.

"Its hard" finally a single tear escaped my eyes. She leaned up and wiped it away with her thumb.

"Well I'm going to make you believe you are the exact opposite!" she said with a determined look on her face. I smiled weakly as she ran her fingertips over my largest scars. They needed stitches like most of my cuts but I didn't get them. It got infected and by then I was too late. I didn't feel comfortable with her looking at my legs any longer so I quickly pulled my pants up and sat down.

"Are there any more?" Demi asked

"Only small ones on my hips" I replied, lifing my jumped to reveal small scars on each of my protruding hip bones knowing she would want to see them.


	5. Chapter 5

Only in my Dreams

Chapter 5

Demi Pov

I cant believe this. Those scars are huge. When she noticed that I saw them she just pulled her sleeve down and brushed it off with a smile. I knew that smile. I used to smile like that too. There was pain hidden in her eyes. I led her into my room so she could show me the others. I don't think I was prepared for what came next. She started undoing her jeans!

"Don't look at me like that. They're on my legs" I giggled lightly, she told me not to stare at her 'fat' legs. To me they aren't fat at all. They're perfect.

As soon as her pants moved down I saw them. The tears started falling again. I couldn't help it. I hate knowing my Lovatics are in pain. She shuddered as I started to lightly touch the scars. There were so many. Many of them would have needed stitches. She even had words carved into her. She told me people would call her fat, ugly and stupid. After a while she started calling herself that too! I couldn't stand it any longer.

"I'm going to make you believe the exact opposite" I said. She smiled a small smile as I ran my fingers over the largest scars. Even though it was a serious situation, I couldn't help but think about how close I was to her centre. Just underneath a small piece of fabric lays her… Demi stop! She quickly pulled her pants up and sat down.

After asking if she had any more she pulled her jumper up slightly to expose some small scars on her hip bones. That's when I notice it.

"Whats that?" I ask. She blushed pulling her top down quickly.

"No show me" I said trying to pull her top back up.

"No" she giggles as I push her into my bed tickling her. Somehow I managed to be straddling her waist looking into her eyes. When he realised the position we were in, she sub missed.

I pulled her top up high enough for her bra to be exposed. She covered her face with her hands as I observed both side of her ribs. She had the most beautiful tattoos I'd ever seen. On one side she had "Love is Louder than the pressure to be perfect" with the Lovatic heart. Whilst on the other side she had extending from her left breast down to her hip, two swallows pulling an anchor into the air with my exact "Stay Strong" followed by "refuse to sink"

"Why didn't you want to show me these? They're amazing" I said in awe

"I didn't want you to think I was some crazy stalker getting your stay strong and stuff. They were inspired by you but I didn't know how you would feel about them. Chelle and Dallas have seen it on twitter though.

"What!" I exclaimed. I grabbed her hand and ran out into the lounge room.

"Chelle. Why didn't you tell me about this tattoo" I pointed to Steph who proceeded to lift her shirt up and expose her ink.

"Oh yeah. You were in Malaysia when I saw it" Chelle replied.

"It's amazing. I love it!" Steph grabbed my hand and whispered in my ear.

"Can we go back to your room please?"

"Of course babe" I lead her back to my room when she said "Now that you've seen mine. Not your wrist thought. The others"

I sat there stunned. How did she know there were others?

"I know once it came out, you started cutting near your boobs" she said shyly.

"You just want to see my boobs" I laughed at her.

"Please Demi?" she said with tears already in her eyes. I sighed, lifting my shirt over my head exposing my torso in just a bra. I moved the right cup a bit so my scars were showing. She burst into tears. Her fingers running along the small white lines on the exposed part of my breast.

"Why are you crying?" I ask confused

"I'm sorry I'm so sorry. I saw them but I couldn't help you. I will never forgive myself for not neing able to help you" she said sobbing. She dropped her head to the ground. I lifted her chin up with my thumb and forefinger bringing her gaze to meet mine. Then the fire in my body started again. Our eyes locked and I could see the same passion reflected in her eyes. I don't know who initiated, I just know it was the best feeling in the world when our lips met.

Eventually we both pulled apart. Our eyes fixed on each other's. "Being here for me now is the only thing that matters to me" I said whilst wiping away her final tear with the pad of my thumb. She nodded her head slowly eventually looking down at her fingers. I pushed a stray lock of her hair behind her ear as she looked up at me.

"Wanna watch a movie?" I asked sweetly.

"That sounds nice, so long as you put a shirt on" Her eyes flickered to my exposed chest. I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks.

"What, you don't want me to walk around half naked?" I said. Confidence suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

"Sure but I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you" she mumbled. Did I hear that right?

"What?" I ask for clarification.

"What, nothing. I said nothing" This time it was her turn to blush.


End file.
